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I’m fascinated by cyber-anthropology and the socio-psychological implications of technology, and I think it has improved life in so many ways for so many people, but sometimes it’s not all good news. As with everything in life, there is a Ying to the Yang.

Surprise surprise. Not only does social software encourage vanity and narcissism, it also puts extra strain on relationships. Now just watch location-aware social software add more on top of that. What if your location was never a secret to your partner?  What if your partner refused to join in on the location-awareness social software that you use? As if the divorce rate wasn’t bad enough, eh? Well I guess the positive spin is, more behavioral transparency and no secrets.  It’s gonna be a tough adjustment though.  Ah, social software, you cruel mistress. Here’s the latest:
Facebook fuelling divorce, research claims
Study: Facebook Increases Jealousy in Relationships
Another reason to stay off Facebook, jealousy
Facebook may heighten jealousy in relationships: study
Facebook jealousy sparks relationship woes: study

Narcissists Can Be Identified By Their Facebook Accounts – Psychologists

Narcissism is not just attention-seeking or wanting to be liked. Clearly everyone who signs up for a social media site wants to interact with others. It is more severe and characterized by an inability to form healthy, long-term relationships.

The tremendous growth of social networking sites (Facebook now has 100 million users, for example) has led psychologists to explore how personality traits are expressed online. Buffardi and Campbell chose Facebook because it’s the most popular networking site among college students and because it has a fixed format that makes it easier for researchers to compare user pages.

It’s Twitter trash and I’m sick of it. I came up with this term while thinking about how sick and tired I am of those pointless tweets that serve no purpose other than to feed the micro-narcissism of the poster.

It’s a short life, and it’s an increasingly fast-paced and busy life. Time and mental bandwidth are at a serious premium. The last thing I need to read about is how bad your breath is in the morning or what your baby’s puke looks like. Tweets – or any micro-blogging, life-streaming, persona-feed should do one of four things. It should (1)inspire, (2)inform, (3)educate, or (4)entertain. If your life-feed isn’t doing any of those things you’re spewing Twash, and Twashers are a huge headache – the online equivalent of (insert popular social outcast paradigm here). Twitter whores are very often the most obvious perpetrators.

This relates to one of my favorite subjects – the social psychology of technology – and the logical extension of an observation I made about two hours into discovering Friendster in 2004. And that comes in two parts:
1) Social software will take off because it taps into the inherent narcissism of our culture, and the absurd assumption that people have along the lines of, (using prissy whiny voice here) “I’m special and the world needs to know what I’m doing.”
2) There is a novelty curve to everything in life, and that is excruciatingly apparent with social software. People discover it and go nuts, exploiting it and using it in the most absurd of ways until we’re all eventually rolling our eyes and nauseated by the over saturation of it.

I think it was Nicholas Carr who first made the observation that “The great paradox of ’social networking’ is that it uses narcissism as the glue for community.” Reading that quote was a huge vindication for me because it so eloquently summarized what i was observing around me.

Come to think of it we’re going to need another term after Twitter goes away. So how about ‘Fwash’, which is feed trash. After all, life is becoming one long feed of information.

But on another note, this relates to techno-narcissism in general. Idunno about anyone else, but the idea that I’m unique or special any more than anyone else is a paradigm an thought pattern I try to avoid like the plague. I’m not saying my brain doesn’t try to think those things, after all I’m human. We pop out as pure 100% narcissism, and only through time and experience do we learn that the universe does not revolve around us. It may never be extinguishable completely, but IMHO it’s our responsibility to minimize this inherently human tendency to feel special.

disclaimer: (1)I do acknowledge the irony of posting a rant about narcissistic behavior on the net but it’s also incredibly cathartic and that sensation overrides my aversion to narcissistic impulse in this case. (2)This post was hasty and may involve fragmented logic, poor punctuation, or incorrect grammar.

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Exactly….
Ok, I get it….I even found it interesting…for ten minutes. Then the novelty of digital narcissism wore off(like all social media) and I immediately felt absurd for even assuming anyone gives a damn what you just had for lunch or how silly your baby’s hair looks today. If you really feel compelled to tweet – or update your status for that matter – you should have something useful(educational, inspiring, informative) to say or point out. It’s a short life, and mental bandwidth(not to mention time) is increasingly scarce… So think before you tweet, and stop indulging the fantasy that someone wants to know trivial information about your life. I think I’ll start a campaign against useless tweets. Time to take out the “twash.” (shakes old man fist and jiggles jowls) =).

seriously though…

Here are some of the various definitions of ‘camwhore’ from Urban Dictionary. I’m not a fan of the word ‘whore’ in any application so I’ve simply replaced it with ‘junky’

“One that posts endless pictures of themselves on the internet for people to see. The most severe cases keep posting new pictures just like the ones they posted the day before, and the day before that, and so on.”

“A person who is obsessed with taking pictures of themselves. This does not mean they are self obsessed. They usually love being in front of Cameras, Webcams, Video Cameras… ect.”

“Male and female narcissists loving to take pictures of themselves and post them onto their myspace account.”

“someone who loves taking pictures of temselves, is a reference to the saying “make love to the camera”. if you look at some pictures of your friend and most of them are of them(most likely taken by them), s/he is a “cam whore”

A subset of often younger, vain, narcissistic attention addicts. CamJunkies spend a lot of time taking and posing for pictures with friends and then feel compelled to upload piles of images of themselves onto the internet, seemingly oblivious to what their behavior says about the them.

They are typically seeking attention for the purpose of superficial validation, to fuel a narcissistic tendency, or to battle low self esteem the only way they know how. Some may grow out of their adolescent narcissism or grow into healthy self-perspectives, but many will remain completely incapable of healthy introspection and the other skills that guide maturing young adults towards confidence and healthy personalities later in life.

The typical reasoning for their behavior is usually something along the lines of, “because I like it..” or “it’s fun” or “I’m just being goofy!” But any remedial psychology student recognizes this as the response of someone who is either incapable or unwilling to really question their choices objectively, or admit anything close to what is obvious.

Being largely out of touch with their own psychology and lacking the basic skills of introspection that give people insight into what motivates their own behavior, attention addicts often remain oblivious of their own absurdity and are typically surrounded by other people who reinforce their behavior and perspectives.

Via Sage Journals Online: Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vol. 23, No. 3,367-386 (2006): “The present research examines the link between narcissistic personality and sexuality. Additionally, it explores how sexuality may inform the operation of narcissism within the context of close relationships. Two theoretical models, each addressing one of these issues, were evaluated empirically. Our first proposed model suggests that the agentic nature of narcissism explains why narcissism is linked to less restricted forms of sexual attitudes and behaviors (i.e., unrestricted sociosexuality). Our second proposed model suggests that a consequence of the sexual attitudes and behaviors associated with narcissism is low relationship commitment. Both of these models received empirical support. Discussion centers upon the theoretical implications and limitations of these models.”  more»

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Via Sage Journals Online: Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vol. 23, No. 3,367-386 (2006) “The present research examines the link between narcissistic personality and sexuality. Additionally, it explores how sexuality may inform the operation of narcissism within the context of close relationships. Two theoretical models, each addressing one of these issues, were evaluated empirically. Our first proposed model suggests that the agentic nature of narcissism explains why narcissism is linked to less restricted forms of sexual attitudes and behaviors (i.e., unrestricted sociosexuality). Our second proposed model suggests that a consequence of the sexual attitudes and behaviors associated with narcissism is low relationship commitment. Both of these models received empirical support. Discussion centers upon the theoretical implications and limitations of these models.”  more»

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Via Rough Type: “And what exactly are we broadcasting? The minutiae of our lives. The moment-by-moment answer to what is, in Twitterland, the most important question in the world: What are you doing? Or, to save four characters: What you doing? Twitter is the telegraph of Narcissus. Not only are you the star of the show, but everything that happens to you, no matter how trifling, is a headline, a media event, a stop-the-presses bulletin. Quicksilver turns to amber.”

“A conflicted Kathy Sierra explains why Twitter is so addictive. Boiled down to a couple of tweets, it goes like this: using Twitter presents us with the possibility of a social reward, while not using it presents us with the possibility of a social penalty – and the possibility of a reward or penalty is a far more compelling motivator than the reality of a reward or penalty. Look at me! Look at me! Are you looking?”\

Narcissism is just the user interface for nihilism, of course, and with artfully kitschy services like Twitter we’re allowed to both indulge our self-absorption and distance ourselves from it by acknowledging, with a coy digital wink, its essential emptiness. I love me! Just kidding!”

“The great paradox of “social networking” is that it uses narcissism as the glue for “community.” Being online means being alone, and being in an online community means being alone together. The community is purely symbolic, a pixellated simulation conjured up by software to feed the modern self’s bottomless hunger. Hunger for what? For verification of its existence? No, not even that. For verification that it has a role to play. As I walk down the street with thin white cords hanging from my ears, as I look at the display of khakis in the window of the Gap, as I sit in a Starbucks sipping a chai served up by a barista, I can’t quite bring myself to believe that I’m real. But if I send out to a theoretical audience of my peers 140 characters of text saying that I’m walking down the street, looking in a shop window, drinking tea, suddenly I become real. I have a voice. I exist, if only as a symbol speaking of symbols to other symbols.

It’s not, as Scott Karp suggests, “I Twitter, therefore I am.” It’s “I Twitter because I’m afraid I ain’t.”

As the physical world takes on more of the characteristics of a simulation, we seek reality in the simulated world. At least there we can be confident that the simulation is real. At least there we can be freed from the anxiety of not knowing where the edge between real and unreal lies. At least there we find something to hold onto, even if it’s nothing.”

The great paradox of “social networking” is that it uses narcissism as the glue for “community.” -Nicholas Carr

In March Nicholas Carr posted a humorous post on the topic of Twitter, the online service that allows you to text your every minute thought or action to all your friends. In it, he wrote the above quote. The social web is all about community, but strangely enough – at its core seems to be narcissism. Twitter is all about “What are you doing?”, right? (Note, I don’t think Twitter is bad, I think it has some uses.)

The social web is letting people expose themselves like no other services in the history of the world. And, people are participating in large numbers.

You can tell other people all about yourself in new ways:

* All your thoughts on Typepad or Blogger.
* All about yourself on mySpace
* All your photos on flickr
* All your thoughts moment to moment on Twitter
* Where you are all the time on Plazes
* Put videos of yourself on YouTube

But, are people sharing in order to edify the larger group – or are they sharing in order to say “look at me”? This leads me into a new study that shows that today’s college students are very narcissistic.

Today’s college students are more narcissistic and self-centered than their predecessors, according to a comprehensive study by five psychologists who worry that the trend could harm personal relationships and American society.

…
Twenge and her colleagues, in findings to be presented at a workshop today in San Diego on the generation gap, examined the responses of 16,475 college students nationwide who completed an evaluation called the Narcissistic Personality Inventory between 1982 and 2006.

The standardized inventory, known as the NPI, asks for responses to such statements as “If I ruled the world, it would be a better place,” “I think I am a special person” and “I can live my life any way I want to.”

The researchers describe their study as the largest ever of its type and say students’ NPI scores have risen steadily since the current test was introduced in 1982. By 2006, they said, two-thirds of the students had above-average scores, 30 percent more than in 1982.

See: Think you’re ’special’? That’s not necessarily a good thing.

So, could part of the success of the new “social” web be based on the fact that it has a booming narcissistic market to use its services? If this is accurate, then entrepreneurs should look at their new social web services not as how they can serve the group – but how the service can promote the individual to others in the group.

Please note that I am not saying that self-promotion is always bad. Actually it is a natural part of life and success, especially when it comes to business. mySpace started getting popular when bands used it to promote themselves. The community took off, but the growth was facilitated in the early days by people promoting themselves. LinkedIn has an element of self–promotion as well as community. So, maybe we should think about the features that benefit the individual first, then the group features second. Future markets for social web services may be better identified by looking for people who want or need to promote themselves. Via: Tomorrows Trends

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=prnw.20060905.LATU045&show_article=1

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Via The Inner Actor: When asked about narcissism and being an actor, Ben Affleck admitted, “I’d say it’s the one quality that unites everybody in the film industry, whether you’re an actor, a producer, a director, or a studio executive. You want people to look at you and love you and go, ‘Oh, you’re wonderful.’

But, he continued, “It’s a nightmare. Narcissism is the part of my personality that I am the least proud of, and I certainly don’t like to see it highlighted in everybody else I meet.” [Interview mag., Dec. 1997]. more»

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http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WM0-4K9C558-2&_user=10&_coverDate=10%2F31%2F2006&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=1d33f8aac7af63067891aed78733d930